From another woman who wrote a book while single, childless and also full-time employed, I feel you on accomplishing things solo, and the added sense of achievement that entails! Writing a book is HARD even without ADHD and to be honest I don't think I'd have found it easier even if someone had supported me financially. For me it was easier to be working as the busier I was, the more motivated I felt. And being single at least meant I had a bit more time. I am so looking forward to reading your brilliant book! Xx
Yessss it is so hard to write a book! Hats off to you for writing fiction as well. I have dabbled and find it so hard. But I want to try again. I also feel more motivated when I’m busier actually - maybe that’s why I found the three months working solely on the book so hard 🫠🫠 xxx
Wow, this resonates so much - I have been working on a creative project for years now, bit by bit, and have been trying to get it over the line. It's hopefully nearly finished but the reason it has taken me so long is because, as you write in the piece, I can't focus on it entirely as I have to make sure I have enough money coming in to support myself. The times when I have made significant progress are when I've dedicated solid chunks of time to it - and that's really hard to do, especially as a freelancer. Perhaps it would be different if I had a full-time job. I've also beaten myself up about how long it has taken me. I've come to realise that it is a totally, totally different experience taking a creative risk or undertaking big, meaningful work when you have a partner who can support you financially and help meet your basic needs. There are lots of creatives and writers I really admire, but I know they have long-standing partners who ensure they perhaps don't have to worry about money so much. I wish it was spoken about more often. I was actually listening to a podcast a while ago and the interviewee talked about pivoting her creative career, and said the reason she was able to do this was because of her husband. I found it really shocking to hear this, as it's so rare for people to be so upfront about it. She added that if she were single, it still would have happened, but it would have taken her so much longer to do, because she wouldn't have had that safety net. It did feel really good to hear this being talked about. It's made me think a lot about how and if I would undertake creative endeavours in the future. Can't wait to read your book!
Ah Charlie! Thanks so much for this. I also find it refreshing when people are upfront about it. I wish it was spoken about more too.
Huge good luck with your own creative project. It really is amazing you have got so far while doing it as both a freelancer and without a partner! I take my hat off to you. When you do finish it I hope you take some time to celebrate your achievement xxx
Single. Child-free. Writer of many unproduced screenplays and a few books. I think what we need is an Alice (Brady Bunch) or a Rosie (The Jetsons). Someone who cares about us and will do the simple little things we'd rather not, but will also leave us TF alone, too. LOL. Because I remember living with my then-boyfriend and him getting weirdly jealous of my laptop (this was after explaining I'm happy to sit with you while you watch TV, but I'll be writing while I do it; if that's not good for you, I'll go upstairs). Calls and texts from other boyfriends to see how I'm doing (fine, until you interrupted me) and what I might want for dinner (to write), and then there's all of the other emotional labor we have to do for men in general, while curtailing our creativity to make time for them. Which is what you're supposed to do while in a relationship, right? I will say, I think it's so much easier to write when working full-time (in a non-writing field). When I've been between jobs, even with ample funds, I'm not able to fully relax and be at all productive (what if the next job falls through? How dare I enjoy writing if that's possible?! Even though it's really not...welcome to my financial PTSD). I'm fine giving up nights and weekends to have the comfort of a steady paycheck. There's also that built-in deadline pressure of only having so much free time in which to write. It seems to hone my focus. Congrats again on the book, Nicola! Looking forward to mine arriving. xo
When I do not wish to be interrupted because I can finally sit down with pen and paper, I turn off my cell phone and my home phone. It isn't easy but worth it.
During Covid Lockdown I was alone. Luckily in the US we got stimulus checks. They were lifesavers!!
I spent my time learning Chinese medicine to turn my practice around so I could work smarter not harder, and had a newsletter that went out to my clients and friends on the science around covid, how to cope with loneliness (if alone), or deal with contention (if not alone). Feedback helped direct the newsletter. That took more time than expected.
Scheduling my time was the struggle, so I made my meals for the next day the night before and stored them in the refrigerator. That way I could take classes and still have regular meals.
The upshot of this was I completed 5 courses in the three month lockdown. My clients loved the new work and encouraged me to continue. I rescheduled my clients so that I could take more courses. I increased my rates so I could afford to do this and they supported that too.
The newsletter had to go. I didn’t have time to do that and work/study at the same time, much to reader disappointment . But it was fun to do and it kept all of my clients with me after lockdown. Many in my profession did not have that luxury.
From another woman who wrote a book while single, childless and also full-time employed, I feel you on accomplishing things solo, and the added sense of achievement that entails! Writing a book is HARD even without ADHD and to be honest I don't think I'd have found it easier even if someone had supported me financially. For me it was easier to be working as the busier I was, the more motivated I felt. And being single at least meant I had a bit more time. I am so looking forward to reading your brilliant book! Xx
Yessss it is so hard to write a book! Hats off to you for writing fiction as well. I have dabbled and find it so hard. But I want to try again. I also feel more motivated when I’m busier actually - maybe that’s why I found the three months working solely on the book so hard 🫠🫠 xxx
Wow, this resonates so much - I have been working on a creative project for years now, bit by bit, and have been trying to get it over the line. It's hopefully nearly finished but the reason it has taken me so long is because, as you write in the piece, I can't focus on it entirely as I have to make sure I have enough money coming in to support myself. The times when I have made significant progress are when I've dedicated solid chunks of time to it - and that's really hard to do, especially as a freelancer. Perhaps it would be different if I had a full-time job. I've also beaten myself up about how long it has taken me. I've come to realise that it is a totally, totally different experience taking a creative risk or undertaking big, meaningful work when you have a partner who can support you financially and help meet your basic needs. There are lots of creatives and writers I really admire, but I know they have long-standing partners who ensure they perhaps don't have to worry about money so much. I wish it was spoken about more often. I was actually listening to a podcast a while ago and the interviewee talked about pivoting her creative career, and said the reason she was able to do this was because of her husband. I found it really shocking to hear this, as it's so rare for people to be so upfront about it. She added that if she were single, it still would have happened, but it would have taken her so much longer to do, because she wouldn't have had that safety net. It did feel really good to hear this being talked about. It's made me think a lot about how and if I would undertake creative endeavours in the future. Can't wait to read your book!
Ah Charlie! Thanks so much for this. I also find it refreshing when people are upfront about it. I wish it was spoken about more too.
Huge good luck with your own creative project. It really is amazing you have got so far while doing it as both a freelancer and without a partner! I take my hat off to you. When you do finish it I hope you take some time to celebrate your achievement xxx
Single. Child-free. Writer of many unproduced screenplays and a few books. I think what we need is an Alice (Brady Bunch) or a Rosie (The Jetsons). Someone who cares about us and will do the simple little things we'd rather not, but will also leave us TF alone, too. LOL. Because I remember living with my then-boyfriend and him getting weirdly jealous of my laptop (this was after explaining I'm happy to sit with you while you watch TV, but I'll be writing while I do it; if that's not good for you, I'll go upstairs). Calls and texts from other boyfriends to see how I'm doing (fine, until you interrupted me) and what I might want for dinner (to write), and then there's all of the other emotional labor we have to do for men in general, while curtailing our creativity to make time for them. Which is what you're supposed to do while in a relationship, right? I will say, I think it's so much easier to write when working full-time (in a non-writing field). When I've been between jobs, even with ample funds, I'm not able to fully relax and be at all productive (what if the next job falls through? How dare I enjoy writing if that's possible?! Even though it's really not...welcome to my financial PTSD). I'm fine giving up nights and weekends to have the comfort of a steady paycheck. There's also that built-in deadline pressure of only having so much free time in which to write. It seems to hone my focus. Congrats again on the book, Nicola! Looking forward to mine arriving. xo
When I do not wish to be interrupted because I can finally sit down with pen and paper, I turn off my cell phone and my home phone. It isn't easy but worth it.
Keep writing.
Loving you x
During Covid Lockdown I was alone. Luckily in the US we got stimulus checks. They were lifesavers!!
I spent my time learning Chinese medicine to turn my practice around so I could work smarter not harder, and had a newsletter that went out to my clients and friends on the science around covid, how to cope with loneliness (if alone), or deal with contention (if not alone). Feedback helped direct the newsletter. That took more time than expected.
Scheduling my time was the struggle, so I made my meals for the next day the night before and stored them in the refrigerator. That way I could take classes and still have regular meals.
The upshot of this was I completed 5 courses in the three month lockdown. My clients loved the new work and encouraged me to continue. I rescheduled my clients so that I could take more courses. I increased my rates so I could afford to do this and they supported that too.
The newsletter had to go. I didn’t have time to do that and work/study at the same time, much to reader disappointment . But it was fun to do and it kept all of my clients with me after lockdown. Many in my profession did not have that luxury.
Thanks for asking this question.