Welcome to The Single Supplement. Let's all introduce ourselves
I thought it was about time I reintroduced myself and would love you all to do the same.
I’m Nicola. I’m a freelance journalist and writer and the founder of The Single Supplement. As I explained last week I am the mother of a beautiful baby who I platonically coparent with my best friend Tom. I live in Shropshire in the UK after a long stint in London and three years abroad. I write news, opinion and features for a variety of publications but am most often seen in The Guardian, The iPaper and Positive News. I also teach creative writing and run journaling and life writing workshops. Outside of work, I enjoy plunging into cold water for a wild swim, reading, rewatching Grey’s Anatomy (my comfort watch) and going out dancing. I also dabble in fiction writing and poetry and have written a children’s picture book. I haven’t been doing any of that lately though because I’m currently on maternity leave and all my focus has been on keeping the baby alive and happy - while trying to also keep myself healthy and happy too.
I’ve been single for more than ten years now. A small part of me still cringes when I say things like that because even though I’m passionate that no-one should feel shame for being single, there is still a stigma to being long term single. I wish this wasn’t the case. It’s one of the reasons I launched The Single Supplement in 2019. I decided to start the newsletter after writing this article for HuffPost’s Group Chat series which spurred me onto create something for single people because I was inundated with messages when it was published. I’d been getting increasingly annoyed by lack of quality content for single people – and was bored of how every article assumed I was desperate and miserable all of the time. Most articles assumed all I wanted to read about was dating. Instead I wanted to read something that explored the highs AND the lows of the single experience. I wanted to explore single life outside of the dating discourse. I wanted to know I wasn’t the only one to feel how I felt. I wanted nuance. I wanted solidarity. But I couldn’t find what I wanted so I created it myself.
It’s been going for more than five years now but I took a long hiatus because I was working on something special that took all my attention (oh and I had a baby). I can finally FINALLY tell you all what I’ve been working on next week so make sure you check your inboxes next Sunday. I hate that I’ve had to be so cryptic and can’t wait to share it with you.
EDIT: For the benefit of those finding this on my homepage in the the future, the news I was waiting to announce was that I’ve written a book. It’s called Single: Living a Complete Life on Your Own Terms and is available to pre-order now in the UK and in the US. You can read more about it here:
I've got another secret to tell...
Dear Reader – this feels like a Dear Reader moment – I am so excited to finally share with you what I’ve been working for the last couple of years. It’s going to be announced to the world tomorrow but I’ve been given permission to tell you first. It feels a little weird to be announcing this while there are so many terrible things going on around the world but hopefully it will provide a little light in the dark so here goes.
Anyway, I really want to hear from you in the meantime. Some of you have been here since the start, many of you signed up during the pandemic while others joined this year following the big Guardian article I did. I’d love to know more about you! What brought you here? Where are you based? What interests you?
If you click below, it will take you to the Substack platform where you can join the conversation in the comments. You can also reply to this email but I thought it might be nice for you to read about other subscribers and maybe find others local to you.
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Hi I’ve been single for over 30 years now. In the past I assumed that I would meet someone but as the years went by this didn’t happen . I have not wanted to compromise just to be with someone as many of the relationships I see around me would not be for me. I do however envy those people who seem to have partnerships founded on respect, care and a level of independence from each other.
I am mostly content and happy with my life- I love the fact that on a daily basis I can do whatever I want ! I don’t need to discuss plans with anyone and can simply please myself ! I am a first time dog owner and she is a great companion.
I have followed the single supplement almost since the start and have found it truly inspiring, empowering and reassuring . Thank you Nicola and all this community . I was so pleased to hear that you had decided to have a baby and wish the 3 of you well on your journey.
Hello :)
Been separated from my husband for over 5 years and been single since through choice. Before the marriage I was largely single all through adulthood through choice too but I got to my 30s and really wanted to be a parent and so did my husband. Once kids all grown up a bit and at school we separated.
I live with my three children who are all high school age and above now. It’s like being in a college dorm at the geekiest university in the world and I love it.
I’ve watched many friends separate and pair off again with other people so quickly.
Tired of them and others asking me in a condescending voice if I’ve met anyone else yet and saying the right person will come along. Truth is I don’t need or want the added complications of another person here just because it is socially expected. I’m really happy with this set up at present. Maybe one day when kids all left home I’ll want to have company but can’t see it right now. I didn’t before so not sure why I would again? Anyway. Long post. Good to be here.