"I don’t want to be the “missing piece” of someone else’s puzzle"

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The other day, I had a really interesting conversation with Franki Cookney. She’s a journalist and writes her own newsletter called The Overthinker’s Guide To Sex, which is really good. She wanted to interview me to get my thoughts about a theory she had about whether the problem in relationships is that people often try and get absolutely everything from the person they are in love with.

They want intimacy, romance, sex and they also want a best friend, a life partner, emotional support (“he’s my rock”), validation, approval and deep and meaningful conversations, someone to have fun with (“live, laugh, love!”) and everything else in between. Franki argued in her newsletter this week that for those looking for a partner, maybe they should consider trying to get their needs met by a variety of different people instead of putting all their eggs in one basket. She believes that doing this herself has made her own marriage a happier one.

As Franki says: “Not only does this realisation make…