An ode to Emma Watson, to whom I owe so much
Well, I had an exciting week last week and am still on a bit of a high from it all.
I really owe Emma Watson an awful lot because she turned a mundane work week into something much better. As soon as I saw her comments in Vogue, I pitched to Metro.co.uk to applaud her for saying she is happy being single, I was then interviewed for HuffPost UK for this lovely feature on the joys of being alone and was even a guest on BBC Radio Oxford speaking about whether marriage mattered anymore!
As many of my new followers will know, I was also featured in The Guardian. The funny thing is I was actually interviewed for it the week before Emma’s Vogue interview so the article must have had a hasty edit to include her comments before it went out the following day. I was so pleased with this article, and not only because the journalist gave me the final word, which is always satisfying, but because she herself has been single for a while and so totally got it. The other reason is that my subscriber list skyrocketed after getting mentioned. I also received so many lovely messages from single women from all walks of life. All in all, it was a very good week.
However, the conversation around Emma Watson also sparked a bit of an internal battle for me. Someone asked if the newsletter was only for those who are happy being single, and whether those who would like to find a partner are also welcome (no and of course!)
These bigger questions became personal ones for me. Am I truly happy being single? Or am I actually sad about not having someone to love me? When I wrote my original opinion piece about being single back in August, which sparked the idea for this newsletter, I spoke of the pain of feeling like I had been left on the shelf while all my best friends were settling down. I also talked about how liberating being single and independent can be.
Because being single really can be wonderful like the headline for the Metro article said but let’s face it, sometimes it can also suck. While I often feel happy being independent and confident with my single status, at other times I feel like I’m really missing out on love and everything that comes with it. Just like those in relationships have ups and downs, so too do single people.
I guess this is a really long winded way of saying this newsletter isn’t just for those who are happy or just for those who are not because surely, like with me, those feeling fluctuate? I know from the messages I‘ve received that there are people following who are struggling with being single but nevertheless hate being patronised or made to feel ashamed, while others are more than happy with their single status and want to stay that way but still struggle with this wish being accepted by friends, family and society at large. Others seem to swing between the two and I am obviously a member of this camp!
The point is, no matter what our feelings on any given day are, we have being single in common and we don’t deserve to have our experiences written off or brushed under the carpet by a society that still doesn’t really accept a woman on her own.
Anyway, for all those who sent me messages with the most annoying things people say to them about being single, I haven’t forgotten this. I will be dedicating the next newsletter to it. If anyone else wants to join in, reply to this email or send me a message on social media.
Thanks again for all your support. I am so excited that people love this little newsletter. It means so much to me.
Nicola
Twitter: @Nicola_Slawson | Instagram: @Nicola_Slawson_Journalist
What has caught my attention
Emma Watson's 'self-partnered' term elicited a very telling backlash. But it's bigger than that.
Mashable’s Rachel Thompson is one of the few journalists out there actually doing good stuff for single women. Here she delves into the backlash Emma Watson faced for using the term “self-partnered” and how it proves that society still hasn’t really changed the way it views us.
'Self-partnering' is great – but let's not belittle women for wanting a relationship
It was this great article and a conversation with my cousin that made me wonder whether I had inadvertently done what the writer Claudia Tanner says in all my excitement about Emma Watson. I certainly do not think women who do want to find someone are weak - I am one of them after all!
Famous Single Women I Want To Be When I Grow Up
Shani Silver is another favourite writer on the subject of being single. This article is for an American audience so I don’t get all of the references but I loved it nonetheless. Grey’s Anatomy is my ultimate guilty pleasure so I was very pleased to see Shonda Rhimes was included as well as one of my favourite quotes from the show: “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He is very dreamy. But he is not the sun. You are.” Too many times in my past, I let the men in my life eclipse what I needed and if I am honest, that’s the real reason I chose to be single in the first place (but more on that topic to come in the future when I am feeling brave enough to tell the story!)
Single heroine of the fortnight
There could only be one this newsletter and, of course, it is Emma Watson. Whatever you think of the term self-partnered, you can’t deny she really ignited the conversation around single positivity and the pressure women still face to settle down.
About me
For those who don’t know, I’m Nicola Slawson, a freelance journalist who lives in London, UK. I don’t get paid to do this newsletter (maybe one day I will), but if you enjoyed it and would like to buy me a coffee, you can.
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